Find out your true values
To succeed in this exercise, you should have a partner to assist you, or enough persistence.
Think about your dream home. What is the most important thing that you must have there? Describe this thing or object in a few words. Next, think about your life partner. What is his/her most important feature you like and honor?
Take a look at your answers with the helpmate.
For example if you answered:
In my home it is highly important to have a huge kitchen
The helpmate will repeat your answer:
Hmm. Huge kitchen.
And instantly asks:
What about the huge kitchen is important to you?
Your answer must be in positive form (Not "I do not like the blue", but "I like red"). Your answer must be short, only 1-3 words, and you cannot repeat your earlier answers.
If your answer would be for example:
In that kind of kitchen I feel free
The helpmate will say:
Hmm. Feel free.
What about Feeling free is important to you?
This same formula will go on and on, until the answers start to appear in circles. There are some certain words that you repeat often. Your helpmate is critical in these points when your brain makes a short tilt, and you will only say, "I can’t think of anything" etc. Those persons who do this exercise alone, will be stuck at this phase and not get the subconscious results.
The helpmate must notice and repair the answers into positive form and make sure you give a clear, short answer. The helpmate must not give up, even though there is a pause or a tilt in your thoughts. Just give your brain some time and there will soon be an answer. The deeper you go, the more correct the results are. These results are your personal values.
You should make this exercise at least with two or three different topics. It does not matter what the topics are, you will find out that your values will pop up anyway every time.
Try topics such as: favorite holiday, new car, nicest gift, best friend, person you admire the most etc.
The rest of the values
Make a list of the most important things in your life. These things can be for example: family, children, pets, parents, wisdom, love, religion, home, happiness, joy, other people's respect, diligence, money, great body, health, wealth, God or the Spirit, courage etc. Pile up your ten most important things to make a list on paper. Make sure those important things from part one of this exercise are on the list. This is your personal value-list.
To get your top 3 values, it is time to compare the values against each other – which is more important for you, family or honesty? These comparisons take a lot of time, because you really need to concentrate. The reward will be outstanding and your struggle will be worth it. You will learn a lot of new things about yourself, but of course only if you are honest with yourself.
As soon as this exercise is finished, you will have a list of your values. For the next weeks and months please pay attention to your behavior and thinking process, and you will notice how these values guide and control you. Remember also that every action you take against your values, will cause you annoyance and discomfort, and correspondingly the acts which are in harmony with your values, make you feel great.
If it is possible for you, keeping some sort of journal about how your deeds are in harmony with your values, will give you the greatest results.
This test should be made annually for noticing personal development which continues all the time. It is beautiful to notice, how learning of scripture and virtue will have an effect on your values, too. Values are like scales or measures to your personal transformation process, use them well.